I think I'm getting better

I know I've been the worst blogger ever in the past few months and haven't really given this thing my best shot but I've been dealing with stuff that is more important that writing posts. 

This Friday is my last day at a day program, after 14 long weeks. The program was so hard with food of course but also because I missed out a term of school in my final year :( it's been pretty hard trying to keep up with everyone else but I'll get there eventually (I hope!)

Even though I didn't really like the program itself, I was with a really supportive group of girls who are all super keen to recover and get their lives back! At the beginning to be honest I didn't really want to recover, I was just going to the program because my parents made me and I was still 7 kilos below my goal weight. 

They made us eat the hardest foods too! We had pizza, burgers and chips, subway with 4 meats, cheese and mayonnaise, doner kebabs, kfc etc, huge chocolate muffins etc. it has been the most upsetting and hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I still would never  choose to eat any of those foods, but at least I know now that if I ever have to eat them I will be ok :)

I also conquered a major challenge the other night at my friends 18th birthday party. I chose to eat ice cream cake and nobody was watching me. I could've said no and I really wanted to but I wanted to do it for my friend because she had made te cake herself. (I shared this slice with a friend)

And in the meantime I have reached my goal weight! While I hate being at this weight and I feel disgusting all the time for eating and not exercising I am coming to terms with the fact that this is the weight I need to be in order to be healthy.

I am now able to overcome the thoughts a lot of the time and I think a major part of this has been getting a bit of my social life back again and realising that if my friends can have pizza and ice cream than it must be ok for me to eat it too if I wanted it. For the first time in 2 years in not trying to lose weight and I am not measuring every little piece of food an exercising whenever I get the chance, and I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. I thought I'd share my progress over the past 15 weeks with you: 

And at goal weight: