Test Stress

I haven't posted for so long aahh..... Probably have no readers now....

So anyway, all my tests are over!! And I only have three days left of school before 5 and a half weeks of holidays wooo!!!!

I got the result of my maths test back, and I got 82% which was ok but for the first time in maths I worked really really hard and was expecting above 90% so I was pretty disappointed. 

And the worst part is that from now on every test counts towards the final mark we get which determines which university courses we can get into... 

When I get bad marks, I automatically feel like I'm not good enough as a person, like I equate my personal value with how successful I am in school, how I look etc even though those things don't  have anything to do with your validation as a human being. Being smart doesn't make you a kinder person, but sometimes I feel like my personality isn't worth the approval of others and I have to try hard to please everyone. 

I'm not sure why I am this way, maybe it's just part of who I am. I've always been naturally good at a lot of things, which is great and I am thankful for it but it also brings a lot of pressure both from myself and others to meet a certain expectation and standard. 

Anyway, it's almost christmas, which is definitely the most fun part of the year! Last night we went to our local carols which was fun and we set up our Christmas tree las week. This year mum decided on a red theme :)