At the moment, I'm
seeing a therapist who is treating me using the maudsley method. If any of you
who read this are doing maudsley, please comment about your experience, I'd
like to hear how other people find it.
As for helping
myself, the best thing I find is just to keep busy. Taking up time doing things
means there is less time to dwell on food/weight and all things anorexia
related.
Another thing I do a
lot is remind myself over and over "this will help me get my period
back". This motivates me to eat because I definitely want to have kids
someday. Although, sometimes when I feel really down I feel like if I do get my
period back I will be fat and then no guy will ever want to be with me anyway….
Sounds pretty irrational, I know, and it is.
Sometimes the only
way I can eat something is when I really want to please my parents. The looks
on their faces are so painful sometimes and I know this affects them a lot, and
I don’t want them to be worried about me. The thing with Maudsley is that they
are the ones making me eat more than I want to and so that’s where all the
anger is directed, to the point where I'm screaming at my parents that I hate
them. That’s why I struggle with Maudsley. I love my parents but anorexia and
them making me eat makes me hate them...
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