Photos

I just had a pretty emotional experience with getting a family photo taken. It's my grandmas 70th birthday and we're getting a photo book made for her but mum didn't have a recent family photo. 

Ever since I got anorexia, I have hated photos, unless they make me look really thin compared to everyone else. After gaining a lot of weight since my lowest weight, I have this feeling that I am fat, especially my face which I hate because it is really round :( 

Sash anyway I pretty much just broke down after seeing the photo...I just pretty much base the way other people percieve me completely on looks and how thin I am, even though in reality they probably couldn't care less :) 

I mean, I know my arms are not big at all, but also two of my really good friends who I sit between are really naturally thin, which makes me jealous because they eat whatever they want and are so thin, even more than me and I still have to put on more weight 😫 

I jus keep trying to remind myself that if that's what my body needs I have to respect that and listen to it. It's so easy to lose sight of that though