Sometimes when I'm really upset my dad grabs me and holds me, which makes me get even more upset because I just want to get away from it all but he explained it to me today and I kinda understand why he does it now.
He told me to look at the front door and said, if someone came through that door right now and tried to kill you, what do you think I would do? I'd do everything I could to stop them. And I realised that through all the upset my parents do really love me, the stupid anorexia just twists my view of it and says to me "they're frustrated at you, see, they hate you, there's no point, you're worthless, the only thing that will make you feel better is to not eat"
Sometimes the temptation to not eat is really strong because for a moment there is relief and the voices in my head subside, but I obviously can't do that forever because that would mean death so ultimately there is only one option If I want to live and that is to eat...
Might as well learn to enjoy it seeing as I'll be doing a lot of eating in the rest of my life :D
We got our new car from Japan and apparently it can fly :O (jk I don't know what it actually means)
Throwback to the day I left hospital; I thought it would be all over and everything would be fine.. I was just a little dilluded
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