Being the oldest in the school now is weird. When you're in the younger years you're constantly looking up to the older years and trying to look cool and have older friends and be known by other years as 'cool'. Then you get to the oldest year and suddenly none of it mattered and you don't care about anything the other years are doing, which means that when I was younger and wanting to look cool to the older kids they actually had no interest in me. So much stress for nothing hahaha :)
We spend so much of our lives trying to please others, but in the end, most people are far too caught up in themselves to really notice what you are doing, which in a way is sad because we are so self absorbed but it is also a load off because it doesn't really matter what we do, as long as we accept ourselves.
I think that realising this also comes with getting older. I have always wondered why people are always trying to be 'cool' and impress each other, it would look pretty stupid if you were looking down on it all hey...
Anyway, today I only had a half day at school which was nice so now I'm going home early.
Another interesting thing about my day, I recently entered a competition about careers in hospitality that had some cool prizes and I've progressed to the Saxons stage (got into the top ten). I don't even really want a career in hospitality but you just had to write 200 words about why you want a career in hospitality and I've always loved to write so I wrote something unique in 5 minutes and they liked it! :D so then I had to make a 1 minute video about why I want the prizes and send it into them tonight. Who knows what might happen? If I win something I'll do a post about it
A week after I first went to hospital... I just got moved into the eating disorder ward from the cardiac ward and seeing all the other girls had just made the whole thing real. I was so confused and scared :(
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