Half-living

For the past couple months, I've been in this sort of half living stage where all I feel like I do is eat, go to school, cry and sleep. I pretty much eat the same food every day and I'm sick of it but changing things causes a lot of anxiety...

It's so annoying because I never even used to think about food at all. I would be the last person to eat super healthy or anything and I wasn't fat but I'm so scared of going out of control or not knowing how to eat that I'm just paralysed.

I've said to my parents before that I want to go back to hospital. The reason I say that is because there's so much upset at home and sometimes both myself and my parents can't deal with it anymore. But then I remember that hospital is only for a little while and then it starts all over again.

Super bloated after dinner :O

My dad called the hospital this morning after I had trouble eating a piece of toast. I did eat it but he still rang and I have to go and get an assessment done on Monday... My therapist suggested that maybe I look at some medication but I really don't want it. I already don't feel like myself, I don't want another thing affecting my mind as well. 

One thing I am getting better with though is the rigidity of the times I eat. I used to not eat after 6:30 but it's not progressed to the point where anywhere up to about 8:30 is bearable :) yay, at least there's something to celebrate!

Today it was boiling!! 37 degrees and that's closer to the coast where it's cool. Further out west it got past 40!!!!! But then it's dropping 14 degrees tomorrow. Crazy...