Btw super tired this morning ....zzz
The psychologists on the program are telling our parents to challenge us with foods etc. and because I'm sill in phase 1 of maudsley I don't get to choose anything I eat... But my parents don't even tell me what it's going to be.
It was the morning when we were going and I asked what was for lunch. Obviously planning something scary, mum wouldn't tell me and was saying "I'll tell you after you eat that" but then it would be the same as the next thing I had to eat.
I was getting really anxious because I didn't want to eat anymore without knowing if they were adding things, which they had already promised they wouldn't.
Mum had then been making all these wraps (white with meat and cheese!!!!!!) and I asked if she was going to make me have one and she said nicely "don't worry, I haven't made yours yet" when in reality she had already made mine and it was in the fridge.
Eventually they told me right before we were going and I normally just have a chicken sandwich on wholemeal bread so you can imagine I was upset with a white wrap with chicken and cheese (white bread and cheese are major fear foods). Mum then told me that the wrap was less than the bread I normally had which I then ran and checked and it wasn't.
I get like I couldn't trust what they say to me and what they give me and I still feel like that now, which isn't a good place to be...
So yeah not a great day but I do like it with other girls there who understand what I'm going through because I don't have to put on a front and pretend that everything is ok.
Stay cool kids and keep fighting! (This is one of my favourite pictures ever. We were having a family holiday at Christmas ad this guy came all the way down the lake wishing everyone a merry christmas is was so weird but funny)
No comments:
Post a Comment