Day 14 - Think about yourself one year ago, how have you changed?

Haha, I've changed quite a lot in the past year. Although a lot of what has happened to me in the past year has been upsetting, hard, scary etc, I also feel like I have learnt a lot about life and myself in the last year as a result of having anorexia.

I am obviously more anxious and less happy and carefree was I was a year ago, which saddens me because I wish I could go back to before this all happened. I don't want this hanging over me like a dark shadow my whole life, whether it's in the form of thoughts about food or the perceptions of others who know what I've had.

On the positive side, I think I have become more aware of the true confusion in the world this year and I am definitely more compassionate to those who are suffering, particularly when it comes to mental illness. To have to deal with a mental illness is hard enough in itself, but to have all the stigma and negativity towards it thrown on top makes it really tough. Imagine if someone with cancer kept being told to snap put of it.

Although it's not exactly the same, because I know that ultimately with mental illness has to overcome the thoughts and decide to get better, but that is why people who do recover are so strong, there are no medications that fox the problem, nothing can really offer relief. Sometimes it seems as if there is no way out, and some days I don't want an out, because that would involve stepping out of this safety net and into the complete unknown... I guess that's where trust comes in. Trusting that there are people that care about me and will take care of me :) 

First week of the final year of school done! Woooohooo only 53 more to go... So many serious talks this week about study habits have gotten me motivated (see pictures) but I get so distracted (hence blog post) haha 😜