Hurtful words

Anorexia is an illness which not only affects the person suffering, but also their friends and family members. Unfortunately, this can lead to a lot of confusion, frustration and outbursts of emotion that can mean some quite hurtful things are said.

That's why it is so important to forgive others and to accept forgiveness. Sometimes I say something hurtful to my parents which is really just me taking my frustration at the battle inside my head out on the ones that are making me eat food, or "making it hard for me" aka saving my life. However, I forget that they don't actually understand what it is like having anorexia and so they can't read what I'm actually thinking. They just go off what I say and sometimes they get really frustrated at me because it seems so simple... It's just food after all. So then they say things about me that are quite hurtful and that they don't mean but it then makes me turn to the only thing I feel like I have sometimes which is not eating and then the whole cycle starts again. 

Although it's hard and sometimes I really don't want to forgive my parents or I feel to guilty to accept their forgiveness I have to remind myself that even though it's painful in the moment my relationship with my parents is more important than jus words and getting upset, because at the end of the day they make my food every day and deal with having me cry all the time and not being able to do a few of the family things we used to because I get so anxious about food...

So yeah, I guess just don't take those who love you for granted even though you might not have a perfect relationship because they will stick by you if you will stick by them. Life is much better surrounded by people than alone :)