Day 19- What is the hardest thing you have had to give up because of your disorder

So the control of what I want to eat has pretty much been taken away from me in the past year and I've had to eat more or less the same thing everyday, partly because that way mum and dad know I'm getting enough and partly because if they change things I get anxious that they're trying to force more really bad food into me.

Plus having to eat all the food I don't want to eat in short amounts of time in order to keep up with life is really hard. In hospital and at home life can pretty much revolve around eating but with school and stuff eating is just a quick fix sort of thing...

Mum just got upset at me then for taking so long to eat today, so then I tried explainig to her that it was because I got up late, have gone out to do things today, plus we already had an argument this morning which lasted for ages. These arguments only make the thoughts worse as I then just want to give up on recovery and go back to hospital, just to get away. Sounds pretty crazy huh, but that's how it is. 

Giving up a lot of my social life has also been really hard because now that I actually sort of want one I've become distanced from people, but i didn't even realise at the time because I was just focused on food and exercise...

We just went and got a five yearly family photo done by a professional. I really hope they don't turn out heaps corny haha :)