However, after a while I didn't find it hard anymore. While I'm sure this is partly because I just weighed up the momentary pleasure of food with the guilt and feared fat that food would result in (which of course isn't true but that's anorexia for you), some part of me just wasn't really interested in food anymore, and to this day when someone offers me chocolate, chips, cake, lollies etc I honestly just don't want to eat it. I just think "yuck", not even "I really would like that but I have to restrain.
I guess this could also be due to the fact that after eating pretty healthily (actually healthy not anorexia healthy), your body doesn't want really oily, fatty foods anymore.
I have this really bad habit of going on about nothin until what I'm talking about has nothing to do with what I originally intended the post to be about, so I'll once again reorient myself: the effect of anorexia on the brain.
Apparently your brain shrinks as a result if being starved of oxygen if our heart rate drops really low, which happened to me. While I can't exactly tell if this is true (I didn't have a healthy me to compare to at the same time) a lot of studies have been done to show that it's true. And it helps to explain why sometimes I just can't think or I'll just space out for a while. I often have trouble coming up with the right word to say and I'll freak out sometimes If I haven't had much time to think something over when it comes to making a decision.
Here is a picture by science news or something about the effect of anorexia on the brain I found reall interesting:
My school friends got me a manicure for my birthday. This is my favourite colour, although maybe slightly more blue :)
It was also super hot today and I was sweating like a pig walking to the train station.
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