Bad day...

Yesterday I had a meeting with my therapist, and I've put on 2 kilos in two weeks (so the scales say). There were other factors influencing it like different scales (compared to hospital scales), different time of day, different clothes etc that could've all had an effect but the number on the scale is like ultimate truth in my mind. 

I hate it when I put on so much in a small amount of time, when I haven't been eating nearly enough to gain that much, probably just enough to maintain a healthy weight... Maybe my metabolism I still stuffed up I don't know... 

But anyway, whenever I put on so much in a short amount if time, the thoughts in my head go bezerk. Every minute of the day they attack and all I see is how much bigger I am than everyone else and how muc bigger I am going to get in the next two weeks before my hospital visit because mum and dad are making me eat even more. Aaaah!!

I had a really deep and meaningful thought this afternoon though. Peace and unity of mind is one of the most amazing things to have  that people don't appreciate until they no longer have it. I mean sure everyone has struggles but to be taken over by almost a complete other identity with its own agenda is exhausting and terrifying. 

I was bored this evening so I decided to take some interesting photos lol 

 This is what mum, dad and the therapist were thinking after yesterday's meeting and weight (excuse the messy room)

This is how I felt/reacted: pretty much as flat and low as possible without lying on the floor haha